It might not seem it, but anxiety gets to us all.
You might think that you are the only one who feels anxious in social situations but I can guarantee that you are not.
Images on social media can be deceiving.
You might see me speaking on stages, recording Facebook lives and holding workshops or coffee meetings – but that doesn’t mean I do not get incredibly anxious about each one!
But I suppose, getting a little nervous before a big meeting, some public speaking or a sports match is relatively normal?
In fact, many people say those ‘pre-match’ nerves is actually a good thing.
What about when we get anxiety around ‘normal’ day to day activities?
Do you get nervous when you…..
- Step out the front door?
- Arrive at a party?
- Enter a busy room?
- Arrive at work on a Monday morning?
- Have to speak to a stranger in a shop?
……or how about this,
Do you get nervous at Pelican crossings?
All that focus on you as you cross the road, traffic seemingly queued up for miles in all directions and all watching you cross the road.
Everyone is sitting in their car laughing at you, mocking you and suddenly you lose the ability to walk.
You start to sweat and the crossing suddenly seems to be as long as the Golden gate bridge!
So, you no longer push the button to halt the traffic.
Instead, you wait for a gap in the traffic and cross when nobody is watching.
Now there is no fear, nobody is mocking you and you can still walk without breaking out into a cold sweat.
Does this ever happen to you?
Because it used to happen to me all the time when I was younger.
Sometimes, it still gets to me and I can still be seen ‘waiting’ for the lights to change (in reality, I have never even come close to pushing the button)
Now here comes my expert coaching tip on how I managed to conquer this fear. Well, 90% of the time anyway.
One day, I just thought ‘Fuck it!’ I don’t care what other people think!
That’s it. That’s my expert coaching tip!!
But you know what? It really works!!
I have no idea why as a teenager I used to be so scared about ‘silly’ situations like this. I would spend hours or days agonising over meeting somebody new or an appointment I might have to keep. I was so worried about others judging me!
The truth is, the only opinion of us that matters is our own.
If we can come to peace with ourselves and love ourselves unconditionally then other will respond in the same way.
And if they don’t respond to you in a kind way then they are not operating at the same energy level as you and you don’t require these people in your life.
You are better than those people and can walk into that crowded room or across that pelican crossing with your head held high!